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Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
10:09 pm
ork_god_rogg Our thralls are already doing a marvelous job of spreading the news of our pending control of the Earth Realms. Our music is so fucking metal and awesome, here's what one slave-fan had to say:

cutescott: hm. I've had Half-Ork Babies stuck in my head all week (or the last day and a half) and I don't even know how the music goes

That's fucking dedication for a worthless spermbag human. For his devotion to the Runemagick Music of ÖrkGasm, cutescott will receive of two extra fenestrations on Penetration Saturday.


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Sunday, February 26th, 2006
9:14 pm
ork_god_rogg And, hey! We've retooled our CafePress store, which contains all the clothing you'd ever need.

We added a black t-shirt, which contains the "blue lightning" version of our logo, designed by Trölgar.

FOOL SLAVES! Thank Trölgar for designing the best logo for any band ever, and for allowing you the chance to spend money to display it on your body!


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6:49 pm

Listen up, pitiful, weak mortals! I, Rogg, have taken time out of my busy schedule of Sunday Beastiality to update our profile on that horrendous mortal website that's responsible for almost as many deaths as ÖrkGasm . . . what's it called? Fuck, yeah, MySpace.

Trölgar and I are still seeking out instruments and/or simpering human slaves to play them. We want to start converting Earth into our Ork-Den away from The Ork-Den, but we can't until we cast our unholy sonic rites, starting right here in Columbus.

Any slave-fan who brings to us instruments or musician-slaves will receive one less hour of forced analingus during the equinox as a token of how little less we will hate you.

So I forgot to add a link to the page in question. This was, of course, exactly as it should have been. But now it should be else-wise. And so, here's a link to our MySpace profile: until we have a true ÖrkGasm website, slave-fans should have it set as their homepage and should probably bookmark it twenty times or so, just to be safe.

ROGG HAS THUS TYPED! So it shall be.


When our rule over this realm is assured, we will ensure that umlaut-o's are accepted in URLs. It burns like mage-fire to see our name spelled thusly.

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